New Year's Resolution

I am not a fan of New Years resolutions (even though we do own a few gyms and I should think that everyone's resolution should be to hit the gym every day...and bring a friend to sign up with you... but that's beside the point). Most resolutions center around outward appearance - sticking to diets, workout regimens, losing weight, etc. and people don't stick to them because they don't make the lifestyle change.

I've had alot of time to think this through during the countless hours of nursing my son in the wee hours of the morning and all through the night - I've decided that I am going to make a resolution this year. It won't be to tone my flabby abs or to lose the rest of my baby weight because that will come in time; it won't be to eat super healthy and cut out the cookies because frankly I just eat what I can scarf down in two minutes and I'm just plain addicted to the lactation cookies that I make. My Resolution is to be less judgmental.

For some time I've had this running list in my head about how I wanted my kid(s) to turn out and I've carefully observed parenting styles used by others and their effectiveness. I tried not to judge people, but now that I look back on it I really did -- but I did it secretly in my head. I'd say to myself, "Oh, they let their kid suck on a pacifier." or "They use those kind of diapers." or "They let their kid sleep where?"....things like that. Nothing major but enough to make a mental note about.

It's funny though because once I had Woody, things I never thought I'd do or say were done or said. And that's when I realized how judgmental I had been...even though I was a closet judger. The other thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was how judgmental others could be -- suddenly once I had Woody everyone else seemed to be the expert on how to raise MY child. People knew exactly when and what he should eat and when and where he should sleep and how much he should be held, etc.. And not only did they know these things for certain, but they also knew that my choices were going to change my child's life forever. Imagine that, I had already ruined my kid's entire future within the first three weeks of his life...according to all of the judgments made by others. I didn't like the way that people made me feel when they judged me. I knew that I was the best Mom that I could be and that Woodrow was not going to suffer in any way, shape or form just because I held him or that he wanted to be close to his mommy.

So that's when I made my decision. Instead of making mental notes and secretly judging people about what they feed their kids or what toys they let their children play with, I'm going to think about these things and remind myself that these are the choices that they've made for their family. I'll remind myself that I have choices also, some of which may or may not be in line with the way that others have chosen. To all of you who I secretly judged, I owe you a sincere apology.

After losing my Parren Tony and then my Papa Woodrow, I realize that life is too short to spend judging others. I'm choosing to make 2011 a year of positive thoughts and actions. No more judgement calls in my head...we all have choices and decisions to make with how we raise our children -- and just because they may differ, does not mean that they are bad...it just makes for a more interesting World!

So in the future, if you're talking to me and you hear a judgmental comment come out of my mouth, please KINDLY remind me of this blog so that I can be more aware of my thoughts and actions. You can call me Judge Judy!